PART 2
when i was about to enter national service i asked myself: command school or man?
command school means aim to be sergeant or officer. man means just be an ordinary soldier. of course command school is a much much tougher route. and being a man is tempting as its the obvious slacker route.
i was pretty much fighting a battle inside me. part of me wants to be the best that i can be and excel and try my best as always. but command school means only back home during weekends for the next two years. the first thing that worries me is that i will lose contact with alot of friends.
during our first road march i volunteered to be the first scout. ( as always i am dam enthusiastic :P ) so during the road march i was walking ahead of the whole company to alert other people that we are marching pass. of course i didnt walk alone. i was accompanied by my sergeant. so during the whole march i pretty much talked cock with my sergeant. know him better. know more about army life. i asked him if he likes army life. obviously he said yes. then i ask if you will lose contact with old friends while in army. he say yes too. okie lahh not totally lose contact but will become more distant. that so totally sucks. i dont want that to happen. i admit that as we all grow up and have our own jobs friends will be more distant. but at least we can go out and eat dinner any other weekday. in army can only meet friends during weekends. :/
if i stay as a man maybe i can get a vocation that is only from 8am to 5pm. so shiok!
hahah when there are 2 choices. people tend to take the easier choice right. its only human nature? maybe know but its the obvious choice. when you put a ball on a slope the ball will naturally roll downhill and not upslope right. rolling upslope requires a force. it requires effort.
picture this: an eagle's nest on a cliff. a baby eaglet yet knowing how to fly. the view from the nest down the cliff is terrifying. there is always a possibility that after jumping off the cliff the eaglet fails to learn how to fly and drops flat dead at the bottom. is the risk of death worth it in an attempt to learn how to fly? the eaglet can take the gamble and maybe end up soaring majestically across the sky or die miserably at the bottom. instead he can save his ass and never take the risk and comfortably stay on the ground forever.
are you satisfied staying on the ground forever? most importantly its in every eaglet to know how to fly. its whether they unleash that hidden nature. its in every human being to know how to shine. its whether you are willing to overcome the obstacles before you.
command school is obviously a tough route. 3 weeks field camp. 9 months of training for officers. and there is always a high risk of injury. which i totally dreaded. having severely injured myself before already. i am always unsure if i really have what it takes. but its only natural that one wishes to excel.
after much pondering i decided that i shall aim to go officer cadet school.
because i broke my arm before. my officer wants me to go do a body check up. i need to take out the metal piece in my arm soon. so needed to ask the medical officer if i should take out asap or after my bmt. if i take the metal piece out now would mean that i will be out of bmt and, of course, have no hopes of command school. so i pretty much left everything to fate. let fate decide if i should aim to go command school ornot. lets wait for the medical officer's verdict.
i got an officer who is my senior in rvnp. quite cool right. he was teaching me something the other day in ns. then ended off with " like how npcc taught you ". and this phrase rang in my mind for quite some time. rvnp taught me alot of things but it certainly didnt teach me to falter before obstacles. after that i made up my mind that i will aim for officer cadet school.
nevertheless i still need to go and do my body check up. the medical officer decided that i should take out the metal piece after bmt. woots! however. he claims that my arm has around 6 metal screws in it and would take approximately 3 months to heal. which means. i got zero chances of going to command school. after bmt i will be non-combat fit. all my hopes are dashed. right from the beginning i didnt have a choice. disappointed of course.
so technically say i am wasting my time in bmt right now. because after bmt i would most likely be assigned as a mere puny clerk or something. not even an ordinary soldier. thats what non-combat fit means. not fit to fight. sucks right.
but i am still chionging in bmt lah. volunteering for this and that. people ask me since i cant go command school why am i still trying so hard. well since i am here might as well try my best right. i may be wasting my time but memories in bmt will remain.
like how npcc taught me.
sigh. sometimes people dont dare to open their wings fearing that they might fall and hurt themselves. but if they dont open their wings they will never know how high they can fly. they should appreciate the opportunity to spread their wings. as these opportunities are not to be taken for granted. so next time if you need to make a choice. dont make the easier choice. make the right choice. which is most of the time the tougher choice. even if you failed you can hold your chin high and announce that you tried your best and have no regrets. memories and experience you gain will make you a better person. would you have truly lived your life if you stay comfortably on the ground your whole life and never to have even taken a glimpse of the breathtaking view of ground from the high sky above?
treasure your opportunities. its painful when you dont even have a choice.
the eaglet with a broken wing is never meant to fly.
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