those who agree with me that they are hot say AYE. xP
thE gamE
------ 7:56 PM ------
she's like a passing cloud for me to wish that it would stay a little longer.
thE gamE
------ 6:33 PM ------
life is about making decisions. making choices.
i have learnt to make decisions. big decisions small decisions. decisions for myself. and decisions for others. sometimes people dread making choices. when times are good and of marshmallowly sweetness of course everyone is fighting for their rights to make their own choices. but when things get tough people tend to back away from choices. the fear of making the wrong choices. the fear of shouldering the blame. if moving forward is tough then some people rather not move at all.
slowly i have assumed the role of being the one who make the decisions. things need to be done. life have to continue. we must move on. no one wants to show the directions as they fear the consequences. no one is certain of the future. no one exactly knows where that direction is leading. what would happen if something goes wrong? someone have to shoulder the blame. but no one wants to. and slowly i have become that someone when others are reluctant to step out and show the way.
moving on beats staying stagnant. sometimes the destination doesnt matter. people just need that light at the end of the tunnel. that light to be their motivation. something for them to look forward to.
i have made plenty of wrong decisions. sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be the headlight of the oncoming train. but during that moment walking in that dark tunnel towards that light, there was hope. that sure beats staying at that same spot in the dark tunnel in despair waiting for the oncoming train. the ending is the same but the process isnt. the thought that we are actually doing something to make a difference makes things a whole lot easier to accept. 'at least we have tried our best.' the common consolation that helps us even a little bit to take the harsh truths of reality.
i have too many a instances people pointing fingers at me. blaming me for making the wrong decisions. i have learnt to shoulder the responsibility and blame. it is not that my decisions are always wrong. of course i always try to make the correct decisions. just that i have learnt sometimes the destination doesnt really matter, people just wants a direction to move towards. they just need someone to show them the way when they are confused and out of their comfort zone. not everyone is willing to be the scapegoat and be blamed when things go wrong.
what crap. what a dramatic entry. this entry doesnt even make much sense doesnt it. maybe i am just a little too bored.
funny how people only start listening to his songs or watching his videos after he died.
people took to much notice about his life behind the music scene. about all the controversies. all the gossips. all the blah blah blah.
people forgot about his greatness. what made him in the limelight in the first place.
it is sad that people are only reminded of his greatness after he is gone.
i admit i aint a big fan of michael jackson. i am born in the jay chou era hahahh. i am too young for all the old school stuff. :P but i have always been aware of his greatness.
i once had this tutor. he is a huge fan of Michael Joseph Jackson. shared with me about his greatness. taught me how to appreciate his music and art.
ever watched his music videos? he is the first artiste who uses stories to express himself in music videos. before that it was just random dancing and singing crap. his music videos are the ones which first had storylines.
you know how in music videos, the singer always dances in the centre and all the backup dancers dance behind him? and if you take a bird's eye view they are actually standing in a triangular formation like bowling pins? michael jackson is the first pop star who started making music videos like that.
and let's all not forget his legendary moonwalk. even now as i watch him dance on youtube i am amazed. he's freaking good man. how isit possible that people can actually dance like that? and he made all of it look so effortless.
he literally revolutionized the pop music industry but funny how in the end people forgot about all the contributions he has made and only criticized him about all the seemingly trivial matters. this is the rotten part of society. the part which has always and will continue to only focus on the negative side of things.
he is a legend. he is the king of pop.
why only take note of people only after they are gone?
thE gamE
------ 12:54 PM ------
Saturday, June 27, 2009
omg. megan fox is hot hot HOT. she is so prettyyy it's unbelievable. i swearrr! awwww. <3
transformers 2 was AWESOME. enough said. period. screw all the reviews out there that say that it sucks. and it has nothing to do with megan fox. yes she's omgwtfbbq hot but that aint what the movie is about. she's just a mere plus point. a BIG plus point though ahahahh.
it's really a frigging nice movie! at least i enjoyed the movie:D
what's with all the complains about the machine fights being too long? ohgawd you are paying to watch TRANSFORMERS for goodness sake. it's SUPPOSED to have machine fights. so what's so bad about that?! look at the freaking title of the movie before you watch it please. all the cool robots and weaponry. all the loud explosions. all the cool fighting scenes. if you are truly in the theatre to watch transformers. you will get your buck worth of what you are expecting.
maybe megan fox herself alone is a good enough reason to part with your money and watch the movie in the theatres.
if not, try something more harmless. maybe ice age 3 (:
thE gamE
------ 11:17 PM ------
Saturday, June 20, 2009
DEATH.
everyone fears death. everyone fears dying. death signifies the end. the end of a life. so i would assume one fear death because one fear the end of his life. but whats so fearful about ending a life? because when you die. you go alone. you leave everything behind. your monetary possessions. your PSP. your ipod. your friends. your family. maybe people cant imagine living without those things. then again you are not going to live ever again. so if you take a death breath and think about it maybe there is nothing to fear about at all.
no wait. maybe you fear the pain. death can be painful. or rather dying can be painful. if you die a slow painful death. maybe (touchwood!) due to a disease. bedridden, slowly eroding day by day as the sun rises and sets. nobody wants to die like that. everyone hopes to have a peaceful, painless death.
but i think there is more than that to the story. people fear leaving others behind. the fear that you would never see your loved ones again. never going to sit together at a table, laughing during dinner. never holding hands while walking down the street with that special someone. it is this bonds that makes it so hard and painful letting go, dont you think?
the fear of the future. the fear of how others would be after your death. would they be okie? hoping that they stay strong and continue to live on. hoping that they wouldnt be too sad and take your death too hard. hoping that despite your absence they would still be doing fine. that uncertainty of the future about how your loved ones would do without you there taking care of them anymore. not being there anymore for your little sister as she grows up. not there anymore to pat on her head when she burns the midnight oil. not there anymore to stand up for her when anyone bullies her. not there for your parents to support them when they need you the most. not there to wipe off their tears when they grieve over the lost of their beloved child.. not there to be the pillar of support for the family that you hold so closely to your heart. not there anymore to give a helping hand when your friends needs help. not there anymore to laugh at their stupid jokes..
the fear of being forgotten. will they still remember you when they grow old and their hair turns grey? memories fade and people forget. thats the harsh truth. people forget even when you are still alive and kicking man. let alone you lifelessly sleeping in a coffin. it's kind of sad that people whom you hold so closely to your heart just forget about you due to old age. it's not their fault. this is just one of the torments of time.
on the other hand, there would be the fear of not being forgotten. the fear that your loved ones would never get over your death and not move on. like your family and your closest dearest someone.
ultimately it's the fear of losing control. losing control of everything. because a dead man cant do shit man. what happens after your death is beyond your control and you can do nothing about it. people can cry and you can never be there to console them. people can laugh and you can never be there to give them a suckerpunch. people can fall and you will never be there to lift them up again.
but when people die, it doesnt just stops there. footprints are left behind. in the hearts of others. for some, maybe the footprints are left on a sandy beach which disappear over time when the wind blows. but for a handful, your footprints are casted in stone. left there forever, in their hearts.
and, my dearest friend, it is this handful that really matters, isnt it?
thE gamE
------ 12:42 PM ------
Sunday, June 07, 2009
yo whatssup. next weekend im gonna be CONFINED. again. omgosh. life sucks huh. sometimes its not really my fault if i MIA cann. duty calls. MY COUNTRY NEEDS ME. zzz.
on a side note most probably would be booking out for awhile sometime middle of the week. woohooo. everything is under control wahahah.
my sis's bday just passed and i havent got her a present!? zz. okie my bad. but really i have no idea what to get her? oh COME ON IM A FREAKING GUY? so i would really appreciate some suggestions!
besides that, i have nothing much to say. booking in soon and i would really love to salvage my final moments out here. sooo.. TATA.
ahaha went chevons to sing k w the np peeps. wahlaoo. we were looking at some real old old photos in junjie'sitouch. OMG. some of these photos are really ages ago. like really. centre parkings?!?! those are supposed to be long gone man. wow we have known each other for 7 years already. thats kind of amazing isnt it. it is either we are real good friends or we are real old friends. HAHAH. everyone is growing old too fast. can you imagine 10 years down the road looking at photos that are taken now and say OMGTHATS FREAKING LONG AGO.
we were saying considering we are 20 now. it is considered as one cycle. 2 more cycles down the road we are 60 and we need to start looking at the obituary to see if any of our friends have left us. LOL. omg 2 more cycles. imagine time up till now only needed a blink of an eye. we just need 2 more blinks to reach 60. news flash people. we are growing OLD!!!
we were also saying all of us would gather at the first funeral. then as we one by one leave this world. the last person have to go to the 2nd last funeral alone. thats kind of sad isnt it. then we say maybe the last person can bring the photos of the others that have left before him then it would be our last gathering. hahah what nonsense. but it makes me realise what a special group of people i have met in my life. :]
went for a funeral recently. the experience overwhelmed me with emotions. thoughts were spinning around my head. shant take about those thoughts now as i need to book in soon! shall organise my thoughts properly for the next entry heh.
i wonder how my funeral would be like. nononoaintemo-ing you piece of shit. just curious. because that may be the only thing i would never be able to find out. would there be alot of people? would the people be crying? would the people that i hope to be there be there? i read tuesday with morrie and i would like to know when is the date that i would die. in that way i can bid farewell to everyone properly. not just disappear from everyone's lives suddenly. i would make a list of names of people that i need/love to meet so that i wouldnt miss anyone out. make sure that i thank everyone for making me who i am today and making this world such an awesome place to live in. :] there are many that i havent met since who knows when. but i would love to see how are they doing! maybe my death would be a good reason to meet up. heheheh.
ohmygosh this suddenly sounds like a little girl's entry. about her little wish. :X HAHAH WHATHEHECK.
as our social circle expands. we kind of drift further apart too dont you think?
