for this game___`` i make the rulez

yawnz... should be doing chemistry.
but decided to update.
this time about acjc basketball team.
sigh.
1 win 3 loss.
disappointing season.
now i understand what nba players meant by losing hurts.
i aint no nba player.
but i love the game as much.
it just hurts when the amount of effort put in is not the amount you got back in return.

our opponents aint strong.
in our grouping. every team was like losing to every other team.
so we are evenly matched.
but somehow.
we just cant win.
there is this big inertia.
that acjc bball is unworthy.
basketball has never been acjc's prized sport.
but we trained hard.

everyone saw the netball team training till 9pm.
but that was when their season was near.
we have been training. since last year.
hours in the gym after training.
getting chased out by the auntie.
nights that i ran 10 rounds round the track after training.
till 8pm.
till 9pm.
i even missed winni's birthday this year.
i forgot all about the celebration.
i was running.
and running.
in the dark.
feeling the wind.

the school lighted up the netball court for them to train.
ever wondered why we didnt train till 9pm?
because they wouldnt light our court up till 9pm.
they say our lighting is spoilt.
end of story.

everyone didnt bank on acjc bball to win.
not the other schools.
not even our school.
my vice captain's classmates.
"hey dawei today vs who"
"(some school)"
"wah sure lose one lah"

honestly. no one in our school thought we can win anything.
because we have not been winning.
other teams have their school behind them.
for us.
it was like.
its our mission. to prove the whole wide world.
that we got what it takes to win.
in the end.
even we sometimes doubt our ability.

but looks like.
in the end.
we didnt have what it takes.


many were disheartened.
many were tiring.
all i could do.
was try to improve.
try to jump higher.
try to run faster.
try to fill up the void left by my teammates.


of course. bbal is a team game.
there are teammates of mine who are as spirited as me.
we run together.
laugh together.
ache together.
cramp together.
bled together.


we really love this game.
we wanted to show others how much we love it.
but its not how much u pour into a glass.
its how much the glass is able to hold.
in the end.
we still lost.
for god knows what reason.


sucks to have a training court that your school uses as a carpark.
sucks to have a court with holes that collects water when it rains.
sucks to be not sponsored rollers by the school when next door sweet tennis team has 2.
sucks to have to even buy our own basketballs/nets.

but we didnt mind.
we still trained.
i will never forget the enthusiasm i had going to training early.
it rained the previous night.
so i grabbed a mop and started drying the court so that we can train when the rest of the team comes.
when i was done.
i picked up a ball and wanted to play.
and it freaking rained.
it happens quite a few times.

sucks when you really wanted to train but the weather just disagrees.
i really regret getting injuried.
not that i have a choice.
but if i wasnt injuried.
i would have 5 more months to train.
is it that we didnt train hard enough?

sigh.
we trained hard.
was it others who trained harder?
i dont know.
did they play harder?
if they are not good.
but we still lose.
means we just sucks?

people see how hard rugby trained.
how tennis trained.
how netballed trained.

did they see us train?
did they see us sprinting round and round around the track as if a mad dog is chasing us.
did they see us sprinting up and down the court.
did they see us lying down on the floor. legs too weak to even move.
did they see us vomiting all over the track.
or i didnt vomit but some of us did. heh. dam gross.
nope they didnt.
maybe they should came to school earlier on saturdays.
oh hold wait.
i aint sulking. i aint complaining.
i am just ranting random thoughts.
sure every team deserves to win pretty much as we do.

but then again it all doesnt really matters.

it doesnt stop me from trying harder.
after A levels i am going to train again.
not for any team.
but for the love of the game.
thats the beauty of the sport.

well the team is very much separated now.
we dont meet as often.
everyone busy mugging.
or supposed to be.
even though some of us arent as close.
but the fact that we trained and played together.
makes us, like our captain says, brothers.


the letter i wrote reads:
bbal-lets win! for real this time
-dont make bball a disgrace to the school.


still very much of a disgrace in the end huh.


oh hold on a second. A levels in 14 days??!?!
you gotta be kidding me dude.