for this game___`` i make the rulez

you guys dont take me seriously dont ya? HAH.


anywayzzzxzx. shant continue my previous entry. it was gonna be my darkest entry you know. it's like tearing my heart open and going in deep and dig out all my darkest secrets. like a confession to make. but it takes a lot of courage to face myself. so whatever.



whatheheck am i talking about? maybe cher's right. i am such an oddball. HAH.



i am playing for 9DIVISION basketball team. i.e. playing competitive basketball in the army. i cant believe it. i actually got a second chance. i got a second shot in competitive basketball. it seems like my final chance to close off my basketball career without regrets. all those pain and agony. this seems like my last chance to prove myself. i am thankful. really i am. i appreciate this rare second chance that i have yearned so much for.



but seeing how things are going. it seems like it will all come down to the same tragic ending. i just couldnt stop it. it feels like i am watching in horror as the sand seep through my clenched fists. helpless. powerless. after all these years. all those sweat blood and tears. all those empty promises to grow stronger. at the end of the day, i am still not strong enough. vulnerable like a toothpick in the face of the whirlwind. the cold truth knocks me hard. reminding me at the end of the day i am just one tiny little soul wandering aimlessly within the majestic almighty universe. and there is nothing i can do to stop the overwhelming forces of fate.



and that sucks. to the max.



i love this game. really i do.



thats why i hate to lose.