for this game___`` i make the rulez

life is about making decisions. making choices.


i have learnt to make decisions. big decisions small decisions. decisions for myself. and decisions for others. sometimes people dread making choices. when times are good and of marshmallowly sweetness of course everyone is fighting for their rights to make their own choices. but when things get tough people tend to back away from choices. the fear of making the wrong choices. the fear of shouldering the blame. if moving forward is tough then some people rather not move at all.


slowly i have assumed the role of being the one who make the decisions. things need to be done. life have to continue. we must move on. no one wants to show the directions as they fear the consequences. no one is certain of the future. no one exactly knows where that direction is leading. what would happen if something goes wrong? someone have to shoulder the blame. but no one wants to. and slowly i have become that someone when others are reluctant to step out and show the way.


moving on beats staying stagnant. sometimes the destination doesnt matter. people just need that light at the end of the tunnel. that light to be their motivation. something for them to look forward to.


i have made plenty of wrong decisions. sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be the headlight of the oncoming train. but during that moment walking in that dark tunnel towards that light, there was hope. that sure beats staying at that same spot in the dark tunnel in despair waiting for the oncoming train. the ending is the same but the process isnt. the thought that we are actually doing something to make a difference makes things a whole lot easier to accept. 'at least we have tried our best.' the common consolation that helps us even a little bit to take the harsh truths of reality.


i have too many a instances people pointing fingers at me. blaming me for making the wrong decisions. i have learnt to shoulder the responsibility and blame. it is not that my decisions are always wrong. of course i always try to make the correct decisions. just that i have learnt sometimes the destination doesnt really matter, people just wants a direction to move towards. they just need someone to show them the way when they are confused and out of their comfort zone. not everyone is willing to be the scapegoat and be blamed when things go wrong.


what crap. what a dramatic entry. this entry doesnt even make much sense doesnt it. maybe i am just a little too bored.