for this game___`` i make the rulez

actually while most of the time i am reluctant to recount my adventures in the jungle during my stay in brunei. not wanting to recall all the torturous moments. but another part of me badly wants to tell people about what happened during that 9 days. hoping people will understand what i went through in brunei. all those tough times. and came back a survivor. people forget that people all the events that happened all sound so unreal.

i tried to describe what happened in brunei to my parents. oddly enough it sounded like nothing much. i couldnt believe it. deep down inside i know i went through quite a far bit but when i try to explain to others it feels like it doesnt really matter. so what if i walked around in the jungle for 9 days. so what if i didnt have enough food. so what if i climbed mountains. it cant be THAT bad right. whats the big deal. no its worse than you think actually. i dont know it. its just that its hard to accept the fact that you put in so much effort and went through so much and yet its so hard to let other people understand or to let them appreciate. i badly want share my experience in brunei. i thought it would be special since not everyone experienced it before and it was a once in a lifetime experience for me. but somehow either due to my lack of command of language or some other factor which i am unknown of, i cant seem to full recount my experience and efforts over the 9 days. or maybe it aint actually a big deal after all. maybe i am in a self denial and couldnt accept the fact that what i thought were the worse days of my life were actually nothing much in others' eyes.

maybe i should just give up and let things be. as long as deep down inside i know myself that i actually persevered and went through all that shit without giving up. thats utter bullshit. rahhh. the 9 days inside the jungle was torturous. this sentence do no justice to my experience in brueni man. what happened deserved to be written in a book and published for all to read. ah crap. i am just a spoilt child am i.

lets face it. the 9days inside the jungle aint no big deal and its time to move on.